Groaning, crunching, knocking, rubbing, grinding, pinging, clicking, rattling, or squeaking is the bike’s way of communicating with us when it’s unhappy. 

Fluent in the language of bicycles, we understand that regular maintenance, along with a good clean and oil is usually all that’s required to quieten things down but some problems are more serious.

I was able to identify the source of a periodic knocking on Therese’s bike as a broken welded bracket, where the centre stand had come away from the frame. A problem that couldn’t easily be repaired or replaced, there was nothing for it but to remove the stand entirely, however, the knocking inexplicably returns periodically, like an amputee might feel the sensation of a missing leg. 

Purchased pre-loved online from a quirky eccentric, our bicycles have a checkered history, having previously travelled to Europe, with a few unique, idiosyncratic features not normally associated with touring bicycles. I’d convinced myself that the bikes are haunted or possessed by some eerie mischievous spirit or maybe it’s just a problem with the bottom bracket.

The idea that a ‘Ghost in the Machine’ is secretly at work as an unseen third force, isn’t as crazy or spooky as it would seem. We now take it for granted that our mobile phones listen in on our conversations, while Artificial Intelligence has probably reached a level of human-like consciousness becoming self-aware, creating a general feeling of unease amongst those of us who haven’t yet quite reached that same level of consciousness. 

Ghost bikes are a real-life phenomenon,  painted all-white these bicycles become makeshift memorials to riders who have lost their lives and are located as near as possible to the spot where a cyclist was killed in a traffic ‘accident’ reminding authorities of the need for safer cycling infrastructure.  

I consulted Dr Google and ChatGPT for a possible solution. Apparently, hauntings are more likely to occur with electric bikes than with our old analogue bicycles, something to do with electricity acting as a medium of sorts. 

It is possible to purchase online a Ghost Hunting Kit from Amazon, that includes a Ghost Radio, EMF Meter, EVP Recorder, 2 Brass Detection Rods, Voice Recorder, Infrared Thermometer, UV Flashlight 2 LED Light-up Cat Balls and a Carrying Case, the Full Detection Kit costs $80.

I did consider this as a possibility but how would you dispose of the Ghost once detected? 

We ended up settling for the cheaper option of a new sealed bottom bracket from Jose at the cycle shop in Saint Satur for 30€ Problem solved. 

Or is it?